“Before we can surrender ourselves, we must become ourselves, for no one can give up what he/she does not first possess.” – Unknown
So many times you wanted to let go or give in, only to find after a short amount of time you are back in the same rut or situation you desperately tried to remove yourself from. Perhaps you had good intentions, sound advice and the will to move to the next step, but you may have been missing one of the most important elements required to undergo authentic change, transformation or evolution.
That element is to surrender. Defined; to agree to stop fighting, hiding, or resisting, because you know you will not win, or to release control to something or someone else. Just the thought of submitting or giving into anything or anyone sends most of us into a downward spiral. The antennas of resistance soon prop their heads up and naturally act to bring calm to the situation. That is to say, surrender is seldom a peaceful transition, and our will to be in control will rise up (if allowed) and dominate the situation. This pseudo peace will be short-lived and only expedite our return to chaos, dysfunction and turmoil.
So why is it so difficult to surrender and why do we so many people struggle with acting on it? Below our a few reasons to consider and how we can overcome them.
1. I must feel safe – Imagine yourself falling back, arms folded, back to the those who are supposed to catch you, with your eyes closed. Just this act brings angst to our souls. “What if they allow me to fall to the ground”, are common thoughts, however when we believe we our safe, falling becomes easier to do. So how do you start to feel safe? Of course this varies with the circumstances and the people in place, but you may never be able to feel 100% safe. Does that mean we should freeze and discount the process? By all means no, but weighing the options while becoming a bit more familiar with choices you have, along with applying some well thought out wisdom certainly cannot hurt. Bottom line is we need to reveal all the unknowns possible, but at some point there will still remain a risk, but minimizing the risks can help you to feel a bit more at ease.
2. I must understand there is a larger purpose and plan – It will be easier to remain on the fence when we do not fully understand why surrendering can be in your best interest. We will spend more energy resisting a possible greater purpose for ourselves when we are ignorant to what the outcome could be in its totality. In order for this to occur effectively, we will need to step away and enlist the support of some wise counsel. Often it is difficult for us to see the ultimate why, like not seeing the forest for the trees. We are usually so close to the situation that we fail to recognize the potential beauty that awaits us. Even if it is a glimpse, when we begin to better understand and obtain a larger view of why we must fully let go, the better it will feel and the easier it will be to act on those feelings.
3. I must administer patience during the process – If we want great things to occur in our lives, they usually take time, but when we lack the patience required to get there, we will inevitably short-cycle the journey, or in turn take many unnecessary steps that lead to countless delays. And perhaps those delays are a part of our learning, but the sooner we can grasp that, the closer we are at arriving to where we need to be. Surrendering requires us to become still. Sometimes we have no answers or words, but this is not a time to quit. We must give license to time and waiting. No real change happens overnight or simply because we think it should. Patience is essential during this time because it will allow authentic transformation to occur in you.
The act of surrendering is not simply letting go and letting God. It is not falling into an abyss of nothingness or being uninformed about what you are doing. Quite the contrary. Even the Bible tells is to count the cost before we engage into a calling, so it behooves us to make decisions based on faith, prayer and some facts that we can understand. And when we decide to release control, we do it with an understanding that there are risks associated, but we are ready and have prepared ourselves the best we know how. Now when you fall back you can trust someone will be there to not only catch you, but help propel you to the next stage of your journey.