“People talk about perfect timing, but I think everything is perfect in its moment; you just want to capture that.” – Eddie Huang
How many times have you looked in the mirror and observed only what you believe to be a flaw while others would say it’s a beauty mark? Or do you ever wonder what causes people to be afraid or embarrassed to sing or dance in public? Maybe you become filled with fear and anxiety when trying something for the very first time, to the point that it paralyzes you and you find yourself watching life pass you by, moment by moment. Whether it’s our upbringing, our cultural influences or it’s simply what we believe to be true about ourselves, we can easily become our own worst enemy and short-cycle amazing opportunities that present themselves to us. I know this all to well and I have a few personal examples to share on what I did in the moment.
As I have mentioned in a prior post and in my “About Me” page, I have learned some amazing lessons from past relationships. Some romantic and others platonic. Although I was not always keen on how they ended, changed or evolved I can say that I honestly took away something significant from each one. Those somethings helped me to see myself in a different light and better understand my propensities and triggers in certain situations. These were usually the things that were so close to me that I was unable to see them.
So there I was, about to perform my first karaoke song ever. You would have thought from my nervousness that I was about to face a crowd of judges ready to critique me on my every note and send me home as the loser if I didn’t perform well, but it was quite the contrary. It was actually close to midnight on a weekday, if I recall correctly, and I was with a friend in a bar with probably only five to six other karaokers. I had never seen any of these people before and would most likely, not ever see them again. So what did I have to lose? My pride? Not really, because I knew the level of my gifting in the area singing. I am not a singer. Perhaps it was the idea of being laughed at. Now that did make me feel a bit uneasy, but after watching the others perform their songs, I knew everything was going to be just fine. In that moment, I recognized that it was me. Not only was I over thinking it, but I was becoming my own worst enemy and listed several reasons (in my head) why I should just sit down and allow my friend to sing solo. But no, I couldn’t do that, so off we went, doing a duet by Madonna…in a dark bar, after midnight on a weekday. Who does that? Guess I did with about five to six other people with the same aspirations, at least for that night. It was quite fun and after the song we were able to talk with a nice couple that thought we did a great job. I was like, really? Now we weren’t quite ready to book any concert dates, sign up for American Idol or take our act on the road, but it was truly fun and I am happy that I did it. It was a moment that I will never forget and my personality type is the least likely to engage in such activity. That was a time that living in the moment was put to the test for me, and I had to realize that in that moment I was perfect, and nothing short of it.
Now my next adventure was a bit more challenging. The person I was dating wanted to do something exciting for my birthday and she promised me that I told her at some point in our relationship that I wanted to do this. So her question to me prior to my discovery of exactly what we were about to engage in was, “so, what’s something that you don’t want to do?” I said, exact words, “well, I don’t want to jump out of a frickin airplane.” To my dismay, that was exactly what she had planned for us to do. You can imagine her slight disappointment when I said that, but what about the overwhelming fear of sudden death clouding my head? Who was sad about that besides me? We had this saying about me needing to live in the moment. I agreed it was a true statement and something that I needed to learn how to do, but this was a bit much for a beginner, I thought. But I aim to please, so off we went, climbing to 13,000 feet after literally signing my life away. It was an exhilarating experience that was momentous and equally daring. It challenged every fiber in my being. It forced me to face my fear, develop explicit trust for my tandem partner and yes, to live in the moment, despite my fear, anxiousness and my inability to be in control.
My last example, although not as prolific, is equally important and relevant to this topic. I was chatting with a friend the other day and she said she sometimes sings to her niece and nephew and they think that she is fun and sometimes goofy. She agreed that was probably true, but more importantly she wants to teach them that they are perfect as they are and to never be embarrassed. It was in that moment that I was inspired to write about this topic.
It is more often than not that what we learn as children sticks with us throughout our adulthood, good, bad or indifferent.
As adults we find ourselves spending countless hours that turn into months and years trying to work out these inhibitions, fears, or ideas that we have about who we are and why. So any attempt to help a child be free and confident as they are is certainly a step in the right direction. It’s the beauty of knowing that you are perfect as you are. How many of us are truly taught that? I know we profess it, even the Bible states in Psalm 139:14 – “We are fearfully and wonderfully made.” But how many of us deeply understand and whole-heartedly believe that we are perfect as we are? With so many pressures that constantly surround us and images that tell us that we need to be stronger, faster, prettier, more vibrant, smarter, taller, thinner, lighter, darker, etc., it’s no wonder that we have issues with confidence, self-love and practicing the golden rule. If I don’t love myself, treating someone like I want to be treated maybe exactly what the doctor did not order.
Nothing is perfect when it is duplicated. That’s just called a copy, and a copy can not stand on it’s own, for it has nothing to offer. We don’t have to be like anyone else in order to beautiful. We simply need to be ourselves. The perfectly created beings that God has made. The very proclivities, hang-ups and seemingly imperfections that you have could very be the keys to doors that were meant to be open by only you. If you spend more time trying to bury who you are, the world misses out on the perfect you. The you that didn’t have the perfect childhood, perfect marriage or perfect persona, but nonetheless is perfect, because there is only one like you and the world needs to hear you and experience you in your moment as you are.
So whether you are jumping out of a plane, singing to an audience or speaking in front of a large or small group, quit selling yourself short with doubt. Live by the creed to “just do it.” Someone is waiting for you. That perfect you!