“Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same” – Unknown
It is so interesting to me how life unfolds. The twist and turns we make. The planned and unplanned events that occur. Things we never saw ourselves doing or becoming, that we are now actively engaged in, in addition to radical changes we have had to make along this journey we call life. So many things are different and yet the same still in may ways, at least for me. As I reflect on the here and now, I also take the time to consider the holes and gaps that still remain. You know, the unaccomplished goals, the unresolved stuff and the many things still yet to do, but one thing is for sure now that was not true for me several years back, is I have learned how to make peace with my life. Like really acknowledge where I am and genuinely accept it, even if I am not satisfied with the current status. This has not been an easy task, especially for one who has claimed the title of perfectionist. But thank God I have learned, well let’s say I am learning to press through now, one-day-at-a-time.
Just tonight I was having a conversation with my wife about our acceptance of current circumstances. We may not always like where we are at any specific stage in our lives, but the sooner we can embrace our reality, the sooner we can begin to make the necessary plans to actually change our circumstances and/or prepare for where we find ourselves. In other words acceptance does not have to equate to giving up, it may simply mean that you finally understand where you are in respect to a condition or situation. Almost like coming out the clouds and seeing what things really look like for once.
This coming into reality phase can be daunting, especially when there are so many vices designed to numb us of our real challenges. Without knowing, we can become victim to those vices, like overeating and drinking, drug addiction, sex, unhealthy relationships, and overworking, just to name a few of the common ones. Years can rapidly go by unnoticed once we have discovered that our heads have been buried in the sand. So however painful it may be, owning our truth expeditiously is critical for making peace with our lives and with others.
I wish that every story had a happy ending, but they do not.
The truth can certainly hurt, but a lie can hurt like an open wound that never heals and often times the lies that hurt the most are the ones we tell ourselves.
For years I would tell myself things were okay. “Just suck it up, be strong and pray more”. These were my common responses to myself. They worked for a good while, but my head was in the clouds, therefore I was totally out of touch with reality.
Unintentionally, I seldomly dealt with my real issues. I mean like really. They were almost mystical, like a fairy tale, but they were lurking behind the scenes of my life waiting to explode. When that explosion finally occurred, I was at a loss, because I thought I had it all together. I did not and it was a rude awakening for me, but at least it was an awakening. A start to a journey that led me to where I now first, accept myself for who I am and accept my current realities, yet with a solid hope and the fervor to make things better if they need to be. I choose to see my life clearly and honestly. I have removed all delusions and vices that dilute the truth, no matter how comfortable it may feel to remain in the dark. I know the dark is full illusions that distort my good judgement and will inevitably lead me astray.
So again I must reiterate that my choice to genuinely accept my life as it is, is not to accept failure, place myself on the losing team or to give up. Quite honestly, it is to the contrary. I will now take the cards that are handed to me, scan them over and come up with a way to improve my hand. Simply put, I will take my lemons and make lemonade. Although this process could take years to see real change manifest, I am now fully committed to that way of living. There is no other option in my opinion.
Ultimately, as I live my life as a Believer, I realize that bad things happen to good people and many things that occur are far out of my control, and some things I certainly bring upon myself. In each of these scenarios, I know that God is in control and I can surrender with that understanding in mind. Not in a mystical or magical way, but with a hope that says, “I have done all I can, I see where I am, I have made peace with where I am, and now I release it so God can do His work.”
I have made peace with my life. How about you? I cannot undo the past or correct everything I have done wrong, but I can own it and do the right thing(s) moving forward. I can accept that I am not perfect, therefore quickly seek forgiveness when I offend someone. If they choose to not forgive me, I can still move on. I will live in authentic reality, accepting things as they are so that I can prove if that reality should remain in my future. I will no longer hide my head in clouds. I will remain cognizant of my surroundings and make decisions that may seem initially uncomfortable, but I am okay with this and realize these are the things that make for peace.