“Love yourself first, so you know what you deserve.” – Unknown
Remember that person who gave you butterflies and rocked your world like no else could? Remember how you felt talking throughout the night, dismissing a good night’s rest simply to hear the alluring voice of your “new love” and exchange meaningful words? Words that seemed to transform our minds, open our hearts and bring a sense of calm to our world. Perhaps it was only for one night or a very short-lived season, but there was something there. Something very essential to our well being was occurring in those moments.
First we allowed ourselves to receive. We became open to the idea of being loved, cared for and desired. Next we reciprocated the same, and imagined together what it looked and felt like to truly exist in this place. A place where everything seemed okay to express. A place where we felt safe to be who we are or aspired to be. Fear was a distant thought. It had no bearing or influence on our conversations. Together, we took chances and willingly admitted when things were our fault from past scenarios.
Perhaps some of it wasn’t reality, or our words were based more on ideals than what could truly be. I don’t know and I don’t know your story, but I still believe something amazing was occurring. Something we all need, desire and thrive by. And that’s true love. Not the romantic type, but the love that gives life, promotes well being, inspires courage, motivates and believes that all things are possible.
When was the last time you looked into the mirror and adored the reflection of you? When was the last time you told yourself how special you are, how beautiful you are and how much you matter? Probably never or too long ago.
So why do we wait to be confirmed by someone else? Of course we all want to be loved, affirmed and acknowledge by another, but what if that comes too far in between? Do we simply settle to starve on emotions and feelings that may never come? Unfortunately so many of us do, and we set ourselves up to take on situations and people that don’t serve our best interest. Then we get hurt, burnt and abused, all in the name of something we simply innately need. True love.
I don’t claim to have the answers for this or the world’s problems, but I do know how to love myself. Enough to overcome even the worst rejections. Perhaps not overnight, or even over 6 months, but eventually I get there. I get to the place where I see myself again. I see love, I accept who I am when no else will. I realize my failures, poor choices and host of broken moments. I realize them not to bring judgement to myself, but to own and learn from.
Some days I feel as if I am soaring and getting closer to that desired place, while on other days, I am discouraged and feel as if I am just beginning, again. However in those moments, even while crying, feeling sad or overwhelmed, I remember to love myself. I declare out loud that I am worthy, I am a work of art still in progress and I am loved. If by no one, at least by myself. I am my first true love.