“A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it” – Jean de La Fontaine
Being a trailblazer is often looked upon as something cool, dynamic and inspirational. The few that have set trends, established new ways of thinking and embarked on ideas that have impacted the many is something most people envy, look up to or find outright attractive. But what is often overlooked is the hard work, stress, long nights and endless effort required to either maintain this road and the commitment, faith and determination essential to get there in the first place. We all know people who have defied great odds, whether running a marathon, beating cancer, starting a successful business, leaving an abusive relationship, restoring a broken one or breaking generational curses that have plagued family lines. Whatever the case, the road is never easy and overnight success is usually not apart of the fabric in the story, contrary to what some may believe.
Because the now manifested goal, concept or vision is now seen, recognized and accepted by the many, (who may have once been critics) it becomes easy for some to think that you were always there and no real work was required. Kind of like it just happened by happenstance. But to the ones committed to the work when it was only a concept or goal understands the story from a totally different perspective. A perspective that may have been filled with anguish, doubt, shame, fear and tremendous pain, just to name a few of the possible emotions and experiences while in pursuit of a better life.
For some this less travelled road you found yourself on was not a goal at all. You were simply forced to make a decision and the options that you were afforded just were not acceptable to you, so you made a choice that positioned you on an unpopular journey and lonely place. But you persevered nonetheless, possibly out of the sheer will to survive.
And sometimes it is just that, our will to live; to find the air to breathe that ultimately propels us forth, even if just to another day.
So as I write this post I can visualize the many wonderful people who have shaped and carved out roads for so many of us to follow and shape our own futures, but today my message is to those that did not make it a mission to start a road, you just found yourself there. And ironically you didn’t even acknowledge it as a road until someone helped you to see how far you have come. As you take a gander back, you have the opportunity to see it and the many lives you have impacted along the way, but as far as your concerned you were just doing what needed to be done.
It was never easy, you cried many tears and you may have been misunderstood by most, but the key is you never quit, even when left for dead. Contrary to popular belief, the road less travelled is not the option of taking one road or the other, like at a crossroad. It essentially becomes the only way we know to go because the option to go another way is not there, or for whatever reason we fail to see it if it does. So off we go on our trek, climbing virtual mountains and hillsides and navigating our way through tumultuous scenarios that are not for the faint of heart. Why? Because we want to prove others wrong or cause others to see how strong we are? Although there may be a little of that during the journey, ultimately it’s a combination of survival, overcoming and a real commitment to ourselves. Somewhere deep within our spirits we know that we are better and more powerful than what we have been facing. No matter what the circumstances are. And if you’re anything like I was, you have enough doubtful evidence to sway any journey on becoming better. Staying put seems smart, easy and safe, but your faith can tell another story even more convincing if you dare to listen to it.
So whether a spouse has left you or you have left a spouse, life is not over, whether you were molested as a child and a good part of your life was filled with perversion, life is not over, whether you are disabled or mentally challenged and suffer from some type of limitation, life is not over, whether you have been overweight your entire life and you desire to become healthier now and don’t know the steps to take just yet, life is not over, whether you lost a dream job and you find yourself depressed more often than not these days, life is not over, or whether you have lived most of your life in fear and doubt and feel as if your life has been going in circles, life is not over!
Unfortunately, there is no magic cure for any of what I mentioned above. And as a Christian, Jesus was not my santa claus magically making my life better. There is still a part we must take in our own journeys. His promise is to never leave me while I’m facing the trials, but there are still trials with hardships waiting to be experienced in some cases. What I have learned after experiencing two divorces, is true love does still exist for me, and after being molested for years, having a pure heart is still possible. Is it easy, did I have the answers right away? Of course not, but as I pressed through life (while making a ton of mistakes along the way) I figured some things out by the grace of God. I discovered that I was selfish and afraid to let anyone in my heart and although I had justification for this, my justification was not only wrong, but it was also driving a wedge in every relationship I had.
My decision was to move past the pain. As I began to do this, my true journey was in full motion. Now as I look back I see a road. A road that I would have never taken on my own several years ago, but my desire to survive and overcome became my impetus, the very air I breathed for my healing.