What’s in the Middle Counts the Most

“To live is the rarest thing in the world.  Most people just exist” – Oscar Wilde 


Birthdays are always special.  To acknowledge and celebrate the birth of someone is pretty significant.  It is even more special if you are able to witness a baby take their first breath.  I have been blessed to be a part of this miracle with all my children.

It is equally significant when someone leaves this earth.  Experiencing the death of a loved one is never easy and it will always be an event that brings people together while simultaneously identifying the fragility of humanity. 

Although the miracle of birth and the gravity of death will remain significant and monumental aspects of the overall human experience, what occurs in the middle of those two events will always matter more, because the life we actually live represents something even more special, meaningful and remarkable.

I believe that this is primarily true because when you think about someone’s legacy; the things they will be remembered by, it will always be what they did while living, no matter how significant their birth or death was. 

So what is in the middle for you?  What are you becoming, have become and what are you doing right now with your life?  What kind of legacy will you leave?   Will others want to follow you or learn that they should not, or discover what choices not to make?  I have come to learn that it is never too late to grow, impact others in a positive way or become the best you.  It really is a matter of personal choice once we decide to remove ourselves from the excuses that hinder us.

Life can render us many unexpected circumstances, ones that can  test us at our core, or equally strengthen us to endure more.  It all depends on how we choose to look at it and take action. The perspective can either be our demise or victory waiting in the wings.

When I consider my middle, I cannot help but acknowledge my three marriages.  I use to say, “this was not supposed to be my story”, but later I learned to embrace it and look on the brighter side of things.  One, I never gave up on love, two, I never gave up on myself and three, I never allowed myself to become bitter.  And thankfully I have no animosity towards anyone from my past relationships.  I have genuinely moved on and accept the failure that occurred, without pointing blame towards them or myself any longer.

The decision to not give up on love, myself or become bitter is not a given, accomplishing one is a feat, even for the strong at heart.  I never would have imagined my life would have went this direction, but then again no one does right?  It was up to me to decide what to do with the rest of my life, regarding relationships, my dignity and how I share my failure with my children and family. 

For me that matters, not that I need to explain myself to anyone to feel justified or affirmed (well once upon I did), but the lessons I have learned are invaluable, and if I can share something that I have learned during the hard work to help someone else overcome their personal trials it will be all worth the struggle.

Life will always be measured by what we did.  No matter where we were born or how we died, what will be remembered is what we did in the middle (the dash in between the start and finish dates).  That said, live your life with purpose no matter the circumstances and hardships you have faced.  Someone is watching what you do next, so never quit where you are.  Keep living with expectancy until the end. Fight the good fight and never give up hope. 

What truly matters is what you do.  Keep living, keep learning and keep giving your best.  Even when you fail to understand the “whys”, do the work to discover who you are and what you have to offer.  It’s in the middle where life is to be led and experienced.  Your best is still yet to come.  Just keep living, like the older generation use to tell us.


Keep Pressing,

Hank G



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