“Let yourself be drawn by the stronger pull of that which you truly love.” – Rumi
What keeps you up at night? Not in the sense of unpaid bills, wayward children or even a poor relationship. I mean, like what has you doubting yourself regularly? Perhaps it is one of those that I mentioned, but do you often find yourself caught up in the generalities of the situations versus the real core issues of your trials? If yes, than you also probably find yourself in repeat mode often with similar results, perhaps with different people or the same.
This repetitive action is what it looks like to be stuck or to get in a rut.
Times where we feel guilt-ridden, regretful and highly frustrated. The obvious stuff we know is usually noise, but unfortunately the noise is where we also find ourselves getting stuck. The not so obvious stuff seems to lie dormant or hidden from plain view. The internal discussions (or more like debates) we have with ourselves continue to cycle into a dead end of painful and predictable results.
Why is it that most of us have a difficult time owning our stuff? We see the plethora of poor decisions that others make, yet fail to see our own. I suppose it’s easier to point a finger than to judge our own actions, but unfortunately this deposition only fosters the brokenness that now resides within us.
Those seemingly dormant issues that we continue to cycle around, really aren’t hidden. We just fail to see them, because it’s simply easier to defer, displace or deny them. It’s also because we most likely don’t have the emotional tools to effectively help ourselves. I think we believe we do, but we conduct ourselves in a way that confirms we probably don’t. And many times we’re the only one who fails to be aware of this.
So what do we do, throw life away and give up completely? Of course not, however we must become aware of our own short-comings and decide what kind of life we want to live for the years we have left. Are we going to continue to make excuses for not being a better husband, wife, employee, business owner or simply, person in society? Are we going to continue to excuse poor behavior, perpetuate poor choices or allow our egos to dominate the best we have to give?
I believe we have a choice. A choice that may indeed unravel and change the lives we live today. A choice that may ultimately hurt us and others initially, but over time will allow a healing to take place that could not exist without you and I finally becoming sober to our truth.
A truth that has always stared us in the face, yet we have found effective ways to ignore, pacify and avoid with an art-like skill. Sad part is it has truly hurt us and others close to us.
Like you, I declare I am ready to live a new life. One filled with truth, with an honest assessment of who I am. And although we may not like the beginning. Never despise the day of small beginnings because we all have to start somewhere. For me, this place right now looks about right.