“Nothing can make up for the absence of someone whom we love, and it would be wrong to try to find a substitute; we must simply hold out and see it through.” – Elizabeth Lesser
The quote above can be taken in several different ways, and because of that possibility, I want to clarify how I interpret it and how it relates to this week’s post. The majority of us have felt the significance of being in love. The joys and pains of it. The high moments of extraordinary bliss that seem to offer perpetual hope and interminable joy. The depressing lows that seem to eclipse our sun with unyielding darkness and relentless gloom.
It is indeed the broken heart as much as it is the one brimming with joy that defines us (at least temporarily). Defines us in ways that defy the normal and often acceptable standards that we have lived by. The ways in which we have allowed ourselves to be lavished by another human being, like an animal without control. Ways that only the heart can articulate, yet only with emotion that sighs in ardent anguish or with profound passion. Usually there is no in between. A place where outsiders can only criticize, speculate and wonder from their extraneous positions.
If you have been blessed, yes blessed to have experienced this type of love at least once than you understand all to well what I mean here. However what is not so common is the later portion of the quote. The holding out and seeing it through. What this is not saying is staying in a relationship just because. Just because you have an obligation to. Just because your family says you should. Just because you would feel guilty if you didn’t. Just because you have been taught to do differently. Even just because it feels like the right thing to do, although it may feel right in the moment.
People, we are talking about the rest of our lives here, and what you choose to do with it is as important as whom you choose to do it with. Possibly more, because others (especially those closest to us) either help propel us into our destiny or assist in its stagnation. Love will never hinder, only promote what is good. It’s like rainwater to a tree and the sun to a blooming flower. It will always give life.
A life that cannot be substituted with false or irresponsible love based solely on emotions, physical appearances, economic status or how you make me feel, AKA the “what can you do for me type of love.” It’s the life giving love that walks along side with you during good and bad times. It’s the love that is able to stand on its own, giving strength and hope versus needing to be pacified and coddled. The love that speaks truth to power, power to power, power to weakness and never cowers. The love that produces balance in my soul versus turmoil. The love that impregnates desire and births visions. The love that fosters wisdom, promotes inner beauty and encourages me to be still and reflect prior to acting. The love that changes my world when she is present and when she is gone, for the better.
This type of love can never be substituted, simply dismissed or exchanged for another. Holding on and seeing it through becomes the option because you see it as the only real option you have. Anything less would place you further away from where you are suppose to be, so you must see it through during difficulty, but you first must recognize this is he/she that you currently hold in the day and night.