”I am not what happened to me, but what I choose to become.” –Unknown
I’ve been there, you’ve been there, we have all been there at some point in our lives. A time when we’ve been wronged, hurt or let down. Whether self inflicted, committed by someone we cared about or possibly not, the pain is still the pain.
Regardless of the circumstances it’s imperative that at some point we stop blaiming others, including our parents, ourselves and even our perpetrators. We will inevitably learn that life does go on, with or without us. So what are we to do? Continue looking at life through a lense of what could have been or do we at some point start to live? Like really live like tomorrow does actually matter.
Why, because it’s so easy to become trapped in self pity, sorrows of yesterday and a woe is me attitude. Although it does feel good for a while, it unfortunately serves no real purpose for a better tomorrow. It usually only allows for more sedating pain.
Pain that offers nothing but more disappointment, stirring anger and a hopeless future. But our lives are meant to be more than that. Yet so many of us will fail to see or experience the type of life where we are actually free. Free of the guilt, anger and a range of emotions that endlessly plague the minds and hearts of victims.
I have so many acceptable and politically correct reasons to remain a victim. However I also realize that life has a predictable end. An end that allows my perpetrator to retain power, an impact my life like the weather effects a day at the park.
I refuse to be that guy. I want more for myself and my future. So I find ways to break the cycles that attempt to keep me down. Those cycles often come in the form of negative thoughts, unsoliticed counsel and a cynical attitude. The more we’re aware of this, the better opportunity we have to combat it.
It certainly does first start with us. Yes, you and me. Empowered with the mindset to offset our future and our destiny. We first must believe that we we can. That we can change the rest of our lives for the better. Redirect what was supposed to negatively be, and positively alter the trajectory of our futures.
Do you believe this is possible? That’s the first question to conquer. Or else you will find yourself making excuses to fail and return to your unsettling past.
No, it’s not easy or for the faint of heart, (as I always say) but is possible for those that first believe and then choose to act on it.
I can and do identify with the many reasons to become a victim. Molestation, divorce unemployment and a low self esteem, just to name a few. I get it more than you realize, but I also know that life does go on, and what I have to live for, including the people I am living it for matters more than my sorrow, self pity and reasons to simply quit.
I am more than my past, as you are. Let’s live like we truly believe that. Let’s start today.