”Becoming awake involves seeing our confusion more clearly” – Rumi
I’m not sure if it’s an age thing, an I don’t care kind of thing or a combination of the two, but I’m learning the more I intertwine these two frame of thoughts, my life becomes simpler. Not that my problems and life issues magically escape me or become solved ovenight, but the energy required to get to a clear consensus or direction somehow becomes less complex.
You see, I have always been the type of person that sought affirmation, greatly considered an opinion (whether solicited or not) before treading forward and certainly always over analyzing every major crossroad in life I faced.
Sometimes it worked in my favor, meaning it didn’t drive me in figurative circles, while in other times, which was the majority of the time I did find myself spinning in one place, not making any type of progress. Sound familiar?
Well sorry to tell you, there’s not a panacea or quick fix, but I have learned the less people I have involved in my personal and life changing type of decisions, the better choices I make. I don’t consider it a formula, but more importantly, simply giving myself an opportunity to ponder my thoughts, slow down and weigh all the options in a peaceful and usually quiet environment. Perhaps this road makes for a longer process, and certainly requires loads of patience, but it equally allows time for the thinker to think, the prayer to pray or simply become still for a change.
I believe for most of us it’s second nature to seek advice, and I’m not saying that it’s wrong, because there are certainly times where outside advisement or counsel is prudent. I promote it, have done it and will continue to, but the key is knowing when it’s the right time. If your solo decisions keep you in an abyss of trouble, probably not the right thing to keep doing alone. However if you’re one that just seems to want reassurance just because, maybe it’s time to ask yourself why.
What is it you feel you’re missing or need to hear before you take a step? Is being wrong the worst thing that could happen with a particular decision? What lessons can be learned if things don’t work out according to your plan? Are you willing to accept the outcome? All questions we should consider in our reflective time before stepping out on this.
To see life more clearly does not necessarily equate to perfect solutions, however it can better prepare us for what we do next in our challenging lives, and when we learn the art and gain the skills to effectively help ourselves, the more confidence we will have. That saying, “Nothing beats a failure like a try”, should be inserted with each challenge we choose to embark on alone.
And remember “alone” should not mean doing life in a vacuum, but equally not immersed in a quandary of spectators and opinions. It’s the balance of both worlds applied with wisdom and care.
When I finally stopped “checking in” for every move I planned to make, the less intimidating my path became, because I realized I was becoming more concerned with outside opinions than the actual choices I was plannning to make.
At the end of the day, we will all make great and less desirable decisions at times. I have learned the best from the worst ones. I pray for less “worse” ones, but even that is not guaranteed. But what I know for sure is I will get better, never quit and believe my best life lies before me, versus behind. With that I take comfort and realize I’m okay. So are you.