”Sing your song. Dance your dance. Tell your tale.” – Frank McCourt
Years ago an older and wise friend said to me, “Life is a song and a dance. For the first parts of our lives we’re all listening to a song whether we acknowledge it or not, and at some point, we begin to dance to its beat.”
Although it initially made sense to me, I can’t say that I connected with his words right away. It took a few years, and a bit more of my own personal hardship to not only begin to comprehend, but witness how his words enveloped my own life as well.
Today I can see many of my own choices full circle. Right, wrong or indifferent, they all take on new meaning when I consider the various melodies that played in my head for decades. Although at the end of the day I own my decisions, I equally recognize that some choices would be decided way before they came to me. Meaning everything I used to be and was becoming, was predicated to think and act a certain way, in a given or specific circumstance.
Perhaps it’s a form of control or persuasiveness, but not usually with malicious intent. We are born to parents that think a certain way and do a certain thing, which ultimately impacts every aspect of our world. From how we think, what we like, who we like and most importantly why we do in the first place. I suppose it’s all about the song playing at the initial stages of our lives, and how we interpret it.
However we interpret it is manifested in very distinguisable ways. The dance becomes unmistakably ours, authentic to our core beliefs and ideas, perhaps even to our own dismay at times. And as much as we want to deny the parts we’d rather discard or keep in the dark, they find a way to the surface, for better or for worse.
After all, the dance is who we are, and after many years of being formed it’s not easily placed on the shelf. It must take its course, serve its purpose and bring us into the light of our wonderful or not so wonderful selves.
Point being, I remember during my second divorce. I professed I was sincere, honest and living my truth, however I was not. Quite simply I was a lie. A man that declared one thing with the greatest sincerity, but was far removed from its real intent and purpose.
And until that came to a head, where my dance (at that time) became fully exposed, I would still be dancing to that melody today. A melody that perpetuated lies, pain and dishonesty. To myself first and then to others.
So one day the music scratched like a broken record and my change begin to occur. I realized my dance was broken as I was, and I finally wanted something better, something real and something genuine.
I can’t say it happens overnight, or even just because you want it to, but things can change. Things can get better. I am living proof everyday.
What melody are you dancing to? Are you even aware what song was playing and the dance you’re engaged in? Most of us don’t.
It’s so intertwined in who we are that we usually can’t tell when to stop or start, but when it subjects us to consistent poor decisions, equating to broken relationships, heartbreak and disappointment, don’t you think it’s time to consider something different?
My failure was the beginning of a new life and way of thinking. The song that played so long in my life was not me, even though I thought it was. And until I decided to resist that way of living as my normal, my dance would have continued looking the same.
How about you?