”Love is not about how much you say, I Love You, but how much you prove that it’s true.” – Unknown
There’s a scripture in the Bible that I will always remember and fully agree with. That is, “tell the truth in love”. On the surface it seems simple enough, but it’s not easily conducted.
On one hand, many of us can handle one or the other standing alone, but joining the two becomes a bit more complex to carry out.
Depending on your personality type, one or the other (truth vs. love) will better align with your style of communicating. For those that lean on the “truth” side, at all cost you will say it, spray it and convey it however it needs to be delivered. Feelings won’t matter, only the message will. The casaulties that lie in your wake after the fact, don’t really matter or take precedent.
For those that fall on the “love” side, you tend to overthink, consider others more than you do your self and wait with agnony for the right moment, which usually never comes. However this style of communicator will consider emotions, the words prior to them proceeding out of the mouth and express words, possibly a bit sugar-coated.
So when we tell the truth, in love, there is a great opportunity for one to consider how the words expressed will fall on another’s heart, yet the message will not become unnecessarily diluted creating a false, feel-good session.
There are certainly times where I’ve fallen under both categories, but I ‘ll confess my go to is the “love” side. I’d rather everyone simply be okay, versus stating it like it is according to my personal needs and wants. This has certainly put a strain on my relationships, and would of anyone, depending on which way one leans towards.
Each of us deserves to be told the truth, and we equally deserve that truth to be shared in a respectful manner. So why is it so hard to combine the two, especially when it’s so essential? Bottomline is we’re human and we need support and help. This style of communicating does not come natural for us, so deferring to one is just the easier path to take.
When we make the choice to tell the truth in love, we’re saying the conversation and the recipient of that talk are both equally important. And although feelings may be hurt, the intent is not to hurt, but willfully not expressing critical words will also hurt. Maybe not today, but one day they will.
The choice to combine truth, in love is a conscious decision that suggest patience, respect, and a desire to convey or solve a real problem exist , and is the primary reason for sharing. The stand alone methods could suggest manipulation, disperect and a lack of consideration for another’s well being.
How one actually does this well wil require prayer and possibly outside support. The results however are always worth it. You won’t have to leave tough conversatons feeling guilty, more angry, defeated, regretful, disrespected or like a sap. Your truth will be fully expressed, except in an environement where your words have a better opportunity to not only be heard, but thoroughly comprehended.
Now what one does with those words is on them, not you, so practice telling the truth, in love. It works and will give you peace of mind and freedom.